Carrying my cross

So I’m 3 in 1 but I’ve been out of sync so it seems like 4 different me’s running wild, 1 of me is preventing me from moving forward in life and keeps telling me things opposite of what it should, not because it is doing that on purpose but because I was “created” and I did not give myself life but must put an end to that “1” me that is out of line.


So I am standing at the bottom of a town and see that where I must go to is up hill in front of me, through the town. I am facing that hill now and I have now pulled that “1” me out of me and that “1” me is now looking me in the face and vice versa, I pull out a knife “I must die to self” … dead in front of self I now lean over and pick up that “1” version of me that was preventing me, I had to lay down my life. I am now carrying me, who I have laid down and now “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” – Matthew 16:24 

Life is gruesome ….. even the beauty

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